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Love Letters of Paniali; Letters from bottom of heart which are not easy to share. Maybe one day letters will be opened...

Thursday, April 29, 2004

I'm one of rare ppl who never smile at any pics, or even when i think I'm trying my best to have a beautiful smile, when i see the pic my smile would look like Mona liza's smile,
Today I took pic for some official uses. and i did sile, my pic also truns very nice, ( i know its not a fool moon! ) and then later on when i was putting my documents together I find out i would have need a pic with neutral expression, with month close.

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Tuesday, April 27, 2004

The best thing in the world is u wake up after a good sleep, when u r not tierd anymore, and u find out ur face and ur body looks natural (normal) again.
Story start 2nights ago, When I was complaining ( alaki) that Rox Is much cuter and have a much better body than me,
shaer megoft: "Kofre nemat nakon amdar, azirak kofre nemat nematat kahesh konad!!!! "and still I did. After couple of hours i found my hand was ichy, and after an hour my body was full of red hives, and they were so ichy and that night i just slept for 2 hrs atmost.
When i woke up and after shower life was better, and I was thankful to god, u know some times its good to have some funny feeling and see such a blessing it is to be normal,
and as u know "shokre nemat nematat afzoon konad."
at around 5 o clock my face back to be like a mumy again. and i was controling myself not to jump up and down cuz of my ichy skin.
I slowly it got worst, ( i start beliving my pains are time dependant- seems like i have alergy to "5 o clock" and after 5) [maybe its all Samira Makhmalbaf's faults, Who made that, "at 5 o clock in afternoon"] { Just for the sake of blaming ;) }
Then Nikan and SOurena came home, I belive Nikan haven't seen a mumy cuter than me, !!!! ( some how it remind me of "Beauty and the beast", but vice versa, being beauty queen and then turn to real me, the beast. hahahaah)

Mom made lots of khakeshir for me last night, Its so good to have mom :). and i slept with one patch of ice on my hand and 2 on my feed.
today when I wake up my whole bed was wet, ( All those melted ice) But When i checked on mirror it was the best blessing I could have : no more red hives.
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Stolen from :http://www.yoonaneman.persianblog.com/#1438429
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Stolen From : http://persianblog.com/?date=13811128&blog=berenji
Thanx to Piman Berenji
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Insensitive

by Jann Arden





How do you cool your lips

After a summer�s kiss?

How do you rid the sweat

After the body bliss?

How do you turn your eyes

From the romantic glare?

How do you block the sound of a voice

You�d know anywhere?



Oh, I really should have known

By the time you drove me home

By the vagueness in your eyes

Your casual goodbyes

By the chill in your embrace

The expression on your face

That told me

Maybe you might have

Some advice to give

On how to be

Insensitive

Insensitive

Insensitive



How do you numb your skin

After the warmest touch?

How do you slow your blood

After the body rush?

How do you free your soul

After you�ve found a friend?

How do you teach your heart

It�s a crime to fall in love again?



Oh you probably won�t remember me

It�s probably ancient history

I�m one of the chosen few

Who went ahead and fell for you

I�m out of vogue

I�m out of touch

I fell too fast

I feel too much

I thought that you might have

Some advice to give

On how to be

Insensitive



Oh, I really should have known

By the time you drove me home

By the vagueness in your eyes

Your casual goodbyes

By the chill in your embrace

The expression on your face

That told me

Maybe you might have

Some advice to give

On how to be

Insensitive (how to be)


Insensitive (how to be)

Insensitive (how to be)


Stolen form http://www.mahidarkhak.persianblog.com/
Thanx to Syavasheh Shaghayegh
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Friday, April 23, 2004

che jigari in baba ke baghale man nesheste.
delam ab shod :>
Comments-[ comments.]
Latest news is My cusine will start working in the nearby lab from Monday, and she will be here for the whole summer. She is very pretty, and has aan amazing body. she is very sweat too, u don't expect a beautiful girl be sweat too, she might be smart, she is going to a good university and studying philosophy and Biology.
Some how i'mnot very comfortble with the idea of her being around, i can say that it makes me feel insecure. ( Its funny isn't it? )

The only good point is she in very nice, and we might be end up to be good firends. hopefully
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Daria:
Shaer emge khooshgel ha ra megiran.
az ma naghle ghool kardan boood ;)
in comment hat ra ham ke felan bardashti, adam nemidoone che kar kone!
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Monday, April 19, 2004

Some how I'm waiting for a good news, I have a feeling that i will hear one today. :)
Last night i dreamed about that character of Julie Andrews in " sound of music", it was a mixture of her and Merypupines. In my drem i was jumping and flying, :) and singing songs of Sound of music and she apears to me though some magical way with her old fashions long dress. :)

and then I dremed that i saved an old lady who wanted to suicide. at the begining i didn't think i should help her out, i countinue passing by and then some one told me we can save her, and i thought well its a good idea!

Today morning in the news I heard a 15 years old boy climb Everest. Well the news was about a group of not very profetional climber who climb mount Everest, and was interviewing with a women in her 50 who was part of that group and she said it was just a physical challenge and was much easier than she thought. She said there were ppl in their 70's who were part of the group.

Thats a good idea though, isn't it?
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Thursday, April 15, 2004

I'm So Fucking LUCKY
omidvaram ke ye rooz adam sham.
jiz, so much luck, so much 2nd chances,
Thanx
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Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Digar del be rooya nakhaham sepord
Hata agar an rooya, rooyaie too bashad

Ey khoobe man
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Saturday, April 10, 2004

she was teh first kid in her familly, first chikld and also first grand child, ever body leoved ehr and care for her, my princes was what her mom used to call her.
before she even go to school she went to painting classes and in elementry school piano classes and gymnstic added to her scaduals. her mom was helping ehr with school home worls, math, and even painting, she was teh only one who at thepainting exams knew what to draw and even knew which specefic colors to use for which parts.
she fell in love for the first time when she was in grade 8, with one girl in ehr class, and she was so shy she didnt' know how to be a firend with her, that end p to be a story between ehr and her love.
her grade 8 was the onlyt sucessful and full of memory and achivement year in ehr life, her average ncreased by 1 mark at the end of year, just beacuse of promiss she gave to ehr self beacuse of her love.
when she was in grade 12 she decided if she didnt' end up going to greade 13 she will jump from 3 floor( where she used to live) to the back yard, beacuse she always wanted to do that jump, and she knew she can do that, she even used to dream about htat jump, bust she still needed a reson to do s.t stupid in case s.t bad happen.
after grade 13 there was one year she didn't do a thing, cuz she "knew" she might go imigrant to canada,( even ebfore they got a final reasults, what would happen if she wouldn't get accepted?>) but she was always lucky, she ued to think if she get into uni and tehn she leave the conbtry then she would have tok advantage of a student who could have gone to uni, so she didnt' study.
she went to canada with her famlly, study biro chemistry for 2 years, failed the bio class, and then changed her subjedt to physics and computer, almost failed computer and change her subject to physics, at her third year her average was aalmost 80 but at her last year of her study she failed a 2nd year mechanics course. and she finished her degree after 6 years with average of 65.
and she still didn't know what to do in her life.

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She born in a familly with 2 sisters almost 10 years older than her, her dad was a proff in uni at Shah's regim, who retired after revelutions, and almost lost most of his money and respect he had before, her mom was her dad's student when they got married, so she was much younger than him, and they had fights at home when she was growing up, Once she told me her only whish is to see her parents enjoying life together. her sisters left homeland to u.s to study law and medecine when she was in high school, and she end up to be the only one at home, but for sure not the spoiled one, she start dating having some good and bad relations, she left ehr boy firend while she was still loving him to find a better life and educaton in abroad, beacuse of political issues her acceptance letter form american universities couldn't help her to get visa , so she used ehr acceptance letter froma canadian university for majaring in Music, she got the letter by sending a tape of her music performance.
after a year she change her major from music to biology so she can find a better job, she was dating guys, and she was lucky to get visa to go for ehr sister 's wedding u.s with her bf.
When she was in her 3rd year she applied for master and she got accepted in better university that she did her undergrad, cuz she graduated in 3years with "honor" of having avarage A+. her 3 yrs relation ship with her bf didn't worked out , and she left
bad memories behind for a better start in a larger city to do ehr master. after a year she got very weak in the way she couldn't even hold a glass of water, and non of doctors could help ehr finding the reasons, while she couldn't afford dr in u.s, she went back to iran to get more help and support form her parents,
she came back in 2 months, and took her 6 months to finished her medicine persiods, but she hasn't get back to normal.
she got accepted for phd, dating a young proff in uni who is also a dance teacher that
picked her up in club to dance with him. Who can afford take ehr for a 3 days vacations for her b-day
Comments-[ comments.]
I saw SAm and Narges, House of sand and fog, 21 grams, they all were talking about when shit happens, soem times u migth get lucky and get over it, some times u might be lucky but ur" vojdan" won't let u go away and u persist to punish ur self, ( thats my case)
but we do jknow that our "vojdan" is just all we get from the idea of judgment all the those things they teach us when we were kids plus what we make ourself to belive, every body has tehir own judging system adn if we jsut ermember that, this judgment is not god's laws , they are what we build for ourselve during years, and they might not be correct and real. it would be nice if we can dounle chekcs our belives and not be afraid of punishments ( that our mind jsut assigned it )

In all these movies , seems like the writer really tempt to be stoic, and maybe thats very much easy to be, just belive that shit might hapen for u and u have to deal with it( it reminds me of that poster P: shits happen, and was talking about how each religon deals with it, in a funny way, "in islam said: shits happen and its god's will") it migth be god's will, it might be written in book, it might be faith, but how we deal with it is just our choice, thats when power ,d etermination, and love can play a part.
I don't know what we can do to be able to think clearly when every things goes wrong, to be able to stand up when every hting is falling down, challenge situations when we think we r at the end, and to sacrifice right things for right reasons, ( thatas where ppl go wrong) These probably jsut depends to our ideology, and our diology can be made by the knowldege and feeling we have trough our worlds, wich both can be cahnge, and completed if we want.

regardless i just wanted to say what ever happens to me is my responsibility,who ever khar i end up to be was my own fault, maybe i didn't choose to be a losoer, but maybe i didn't choose to be a winner eaither
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Tuesday, April 06, 2004

To be able to read those writing u can go to View, Encoding, and then choose arabic (window) from more option.
p.s In arabic language there is no : g, p, ch, so instead of these worlds you will see "? "
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from: http://khalvat.persianblog.com/
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